Cancer Doesn't Cure Anything

When I first got my diagnosis of cancer I naively thought I would wake up the next morning and somehow, magically maybe, be a better person. Turns out that's a false assumption. The very next morning I was the very same person, faults and all. Bummer.

So what about the saying, "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger?" To that I say, "Surviving cancer is not my first choice for getting stronger!" I wouldn't wish cancer on my worst enemy. When it's do or die, most people choose do. They want to live. In that sense cancer patients aren't really heros, they simply do what it takes each day to stay alive. Now to be fair, some do it with more finesse and grace than others.  And no matter their personal preference for dealing with cancer, all cancer patients are left forever changed.

But cancer doesn't cure anything. In fact, from a medical perspective it destroys everything. So what good can cancer do? It can provide an opportunity for growth. Something to smash against while smoothing our rough edges. Being a better person requires opposition. Cancer provides a capable opponent to help us hone our character and qualities. God often uses such trials to the benefit of his children. I find hope in these words attributed to Robert Keen (ca. 1787):

     When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,

     My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.

     The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design

     Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

I really do want to be a better person. But I don't get to be a better person just because I have cancer. It's what I do with my cancer that matters. My wife reminded me today that I am not the same man she married. She assured me that I am much improved. So I am already better than I was. And in only 18 years! That's encouraging. By the grace of God my cancer may yet prove useful. Since I am already fighting my cancer, perhaps I can get more from the fight. A little poem I learned in high school comes to mind.

     Good, better, best,
     Never let it rest,
     'Til the good is better
     And the better best.

Why did I get cancer? Why not? Maybe cancer can help me be a better person. One thing's for sure, I won't be alone in my quest.

     Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
     For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
     I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
     Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
     (How Firm a Foundation, text attr. to Robert Keen, ca. 1787)

With God and all of you on my side I'll get the better of you yet, cancer!