I'm tired.
I shaved off a six-day beard to clean up for church this morning.
I shaved off a six-day beard to clean up for church this morning.
I'm doing my best to work full time and contribute fully when I'm there. I have precious little sick leave/vacation left with one more surgery coming up in June. The more I can work, the more it accrues back up while keeping our finances stable.
I've been using prescription sleeping pills since mid January to try and regulate my sleep. I suspect anyone with cancer can tell you that night time is often no fun.
My regular doctor also increased my Fluoxetine (Prozac) dosage during the same visit. I started on that last fall. Depression is not uncommon among cancer patients.
I've been using prescription sleeping pills since mid January to try and regulate my sleep. I suspect anyone with cancer can tell you that night time is often no fun.
My regular doctor also increased my Fluoxetine (Prozac) dosage during the same visit. I started on that last fall. Depression is not uncommon among cancer patients.
We finished my second of six rounds of chemo—Xeloda tablets taken with breakfast and dinner—on Friday. My oncologist lowered the dosage twice in the last 14 days to get me through. It turns out (and no surprise) that I don't recover enough during my seven days off to make up for the 14 days on. This chemo is cumulative and so are its side effects. I think the goal with my adjuvant chemo is to keep me toxic enough to take out any remaining cancer cells without taking *me* out. It's a balancing act.
The most notable side effects are my hands and feet. They get what the Xeloda drug maker calls hand-foot syndrome. Makes for wobbly walking and sensitive finger tips. Opening anything with ridges isn't any fun either. Ironic that my chemo pills come in a ridge-capped container! Here is a link to the complete list of Xeloda side effects.
What really knocks me down is the fatigue. Even getting dressed wears me out. I get ready for work and I'm ready for a nap. That's a sad thing considering I used to run marathons!
Stupid cancer.
We are hanging in there as best we can. Tonight Carla held me and just let me cry. I married a real gem.
Three cheers for the caregivers in the world!
Stupid cancer.
We are hanging in there as best we can. Tonight Carla held me and just let me cry. I married a real gem.
Three cheers for the caregivers in the world!
Hey Steve,
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you man. The fatigue in it self is a killer. I have to push myself to do anything most of the time. I do work full time and even though some days it's a struggle, I feel better when I am working.
Hoping for better days for you,
Bill
Four cycles to go must seem like a mega mountain ahead of you. I'm full of admiration that you are back at work. 2 hours a day is all I can manage, and I'm not even on chemo. If I had any energy to spare I'd package it up and send it airmail - but I'm all out of it too!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, and rest whenever you get the chance.
Big hugs Steve to both you and Carla....
ReplyDeleteRest whenever you can for as long as you can, nothing is more important than your recovery now.
Much luv, xxxx
Bill, thanks for your support. It's great to have a new friend on the blog. It really means a lot. I agree with you. I feel better when I'm working. And yes, some days it can be a bit of a struggle. In fact, I wish those days weren't so close together!
ReplyDeleteHi, Fiona. Mega mountains don't scare me. I'm invincible. OK, so that was the old me talking. Cancer sure humbles you pretty darn quick. :-} Energy seems to be in short supply these days, so thank you for even thinking about sending me some. I hope your test results are all good news this week. Don't you go in tomorrow for a blood draw?
Hey, Carole. I think we turned the corner last night on this round of chemo. I'm feeling significantly better today. It helps that I have the day off for our national President's Day. Lots of rest for me. Oh, and it also helps that this is my third day off chemo. Carla sends her greetings. We are praying for positive results for you tomorrow as well. xx
What you are going through is mind boggling, Steve!! It breaks our hearts. I wish I could take your place and do it for you. But, like all personal challenges, we go through them alone even with others around to support and encourage us. You're lucky to have Carla and good friends. Hang tough, Bud. We love you. Dad & Mom
ReplyDeleteHey, Dad. I know you would take my place. I love you and Mom so very much. Having children of my own helps me understand a parent's love for a child. Having Carla for my wife helps me understand God's love for me. Having this blog helps me understand how God loves all of his children. I have been, and continue to be amazingly blessed in my life. You and Mom are a huge part of that. Thanks for your love and your encouragement. Always your son 'cause our family is forever! Steve
ReplyDeleteSteve, Randy and I sure wish there was something we could do too! We think you're wonderful-- you're family is wonderful and we count ourselves very blessed to be your neighbors. It sounds so stupid but hang in there-- one day at a time! And we'll keep you in our prayers!
ReplyDeleteMary and Randy, thank you for the prayers. Saying "hang in there" and "one day at a time is perfectly OK. Carla and I use these phrases all the time. Like last night. We made it one more day. In the often uncertain world of cancer, all we *can* do is hang in there. "Never give up... Never surrender!"
ReplyDelete